12 Comments
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Doris Füllgrabe's avatar

Yeah, just… wow. How bizarre. I guess if we’re generous we’re going to acknowledge she’s obviously got her own shit to process, but still, she was way out of line. Sorry you had to go through that, glad you weren’t by yourself, applauding your courage, and holding space if this makes you want to not speak up next time. And sometimes the real power is holding still and letting things pass. This says more about her than you. ✨

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Emma | Psychology of Desire's avatar

Extremely bizarre, right! Thanks Doris I appreciate your feedback, you're so right about holding still, it did feel powerful to not react with anger in retrospect. Sometimes it's best to let people stew in their own juices so to speak. Appreciate your comments 🙏

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ocean's avatar

Wow, that is shocking. The way certain people don’t know hypocrisy when they’re the ones doing it… I’m really sorry that happened to you, but also inspired by your courage to confront her even though it lead to that. Not knowing what to do at that point was natural, because stories like that are less common and not talked about. Thank you for sharing 🫶 I look forward to more installments in this series

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Emma | Psychology of Desire's avatar

thank you for your support, it helped a lot writing it out and sharing it with the world. It really was a complex situation and it was hard to know how to respond in the moment.

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Jade Tennant's avatar

Takes such courage to speak about aspects of our sexuality and sexual ethics when there are no scripts. And this covered a lot of places that were lacking scripts! Your sharing opens up scripts for others in this space, in this situation. Thank you <3

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Emma | Psychology of Desire's avatar

Thank you so much! That's a really beautiful comment and exactly what I was hoping to receive when I shared it 😊

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Madelene Kadziela's avatar

Powerful piece, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I couldn’t agree more about the importance of resisting patriarchy without falling into the trap of replicating it. Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing this so openly. A brilliant piece. x

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Communication Intelligence's avatar

"If we’re going to build a truly consent-forward culture, we have to stop assuming that harm only comes from one direction.

"We need to be brave enough to call out behaviour even when it comes from people we identify with.

"If we didn’t just fight for our own safety, but protected each other’s too?"

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Rebel Siren's avatar

I fully agree that trying to do patriarchy in reverse gets us nowhere better than where we are now. I have no idea what I would’ve done in that situation. I’d like to think I’d stand up for myself but I would probably just exit the line and talk to other people there about what she did (sorry, I’m a classic midwestern passive aggressive).

I feel like a consent violation from a woman to a woman is extra awful. It’s coming from someone who probably knows what it feels like to be demeaned and touched without consent, and still inflicts it on others. I’m sorry you had to experience that.

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Fréderic Scholem's avatar

I think one interesting perspective is that hate not only harms the target, but also the hater themselves. I don't see it as a moral question. Sure, we should not hate because it's evil - but also, whenever we do, we hurt ourselves.

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Señor Clooney's avatar

If I were your man, I'd have reacted to the bitch. You were attacked.

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Emma | Psychology of Desire's avatar

He was worried about being reprimanded. Usually people choose a man over a woman. That's another complexity to the situation

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